This is From The Balance Beam

[TheBalanceBeam] - Balance and Avoidance

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THE BALANCE BEAM
Ideas and Inspiration for Creating a Life that Works
Vol. 1 No. 7 November 12, 1999
Published by Success Builders, Inc.
http://www.SuccessBuildersInc.com
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"He who knows others is wise; he who knows himself is enlightened."
Lao-tzu

In this issue: BALANCE AND AVOIDANCE
====================================================================== Dear Friends,
Welcome to our sixth and final installment in the "Balance And……" series. Today's issue looks at how avoidance creates balance challenges in our lives. This series has been an opportunity to explore the various circumstances and conditions that can lead an individual to being out of balance. It has also been an invitation to consider ways to eliminate these roadblocks when they show up in your own life, and to build more balance and continuity into your life going forward. In the coming weeks, we will take off in new directions, so buckle your seat belt and stay tuned!

If you missed any of the earlier editions in this series, you can easily retrieve them by clicking on http://www.successbuildersinc.com/newsletter.html and going to the Archives section. If you are not yet a regular subscriber to The Balance Beam, you can also enter your subscription information at this location.
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Today's Topic: BALANCE AND AVOIDANCE

Bill is a 48-year old controller for a division of a large telecommunications company. Although he has been in this role for the past eight years, he has found himself putting more and more time into the job for the last two years or so. When he started in this position he typically put in 45-hour work weeks. Now the norm for Bill is more like 65-hour weeks. In addition to Mondays through Fridays, he usually ends up in the office for one or both days on the weekend.

When Bill's co-workers kid him about the time he puts in on the job, he brushes off their comments with explanations about the extra challenges involved as the industry in general, and their company in particular, go through major changes. Bill's boss, Dave, has also mentioned his excessive hours to him. In Bill's last performance review, Dave said that he was concerned that Bill would burn himself out, and that he was willing to look at authorizing another position for Bill's department if that would ease his workload a bit. Bill declined, telling Dave that he thrives on this activity level and loves the work that he does.

Privately, Dave has been concerned that the real reason Bill works such long hours is that he doesn't want to go home and deal with a family life that's not working well. For the past year or so, there have been rumors that Bill and his wife are on the verge of splitting up. Their teenage daughter (who has always been a handful) has been on a particularly rebellious streak, and has been threatened with suspension if there is one more incident at school. Bill's father has been showing early signs of Alzheimer's Disease, and his sister has been after Bill to help her plan for how they will care for him when he is no longer able to live on his own.

Bill tells himself that the reason he works such long hours is that he loves his job, and his job requires it. The truth of the matter is, Bill is avoiding dealing with those areas of his life that feel like they are out of control.

Could avoidance be contributing to a lack of balance in your life? Ask yourself the following questions:

1. If I look at the balance of my life, how do I rate my satisfaction level and the quality of life in each of the critical areas? Consider the following "slices of the pie":
- Health and physical well-being
- Personal and spiritual development
- Spouse/significant other relationship
- Family and friends
- Work and career
- Leisure, fun and recreation
- Money and finances
- Home, surroundings and physical environment

2. Now ask yourself, am I allocating sufficient time to those areas that appear to need the most strengthening?

3. In what ways could I be using certain areas of my life as an "escape hatch" from other areas that are not working effectively?

4. What am I willing to rearrange, starting today, to provide more time and attention to the areas of my life that are in greatest need?

Coaching Tip: Avoidance behavior can be very reinforcing in that it creates an artificial "protection" from the challenging or difficult parts of life. Being willing to face those areas of your life that are not functioning well and deal with them head-on can be painful in the moment. But in the long run, it will provide the true fulfillment that comes from a well-rounded life vs. one of extremes. A personal coach can help support you in redirecting your attention to those areas of your life that need it the most, and in moving through change to new levels of satisfaction and peace. Did you know that coaching is as close as your telephone? Check it out at http://www.successbuildersinc.com/ServicesIndividuals.html.
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Words to live by: "You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face….You must do the thing you cannot do."
- Eleanor Roosevelt
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Coming Up: For those of you in the Greenville (SC, USA) area: I will be joining with Fellow Coach Brad Swift to offer a live, 4-session coaching series entitled "Money and Meaning" during the month of November at Natural Elements in Greenville, SC. This series is devoted to "exploring and freeing ourselves from the money myths and fantasies that grip and control our lives." You are invited to come and re-invent your relationship with money in this stimulating 8-hour program! Please call (864) 268-5386 or (888) 279-4316 toll-free for details and registration information.

For those of you outside of the Greenville area, be on the lookout for this program to be delivered via teleclass. Connect from anywhere to join in! Further details coming soon…