This is From The Balance Beam

[TheBalanceBeam] - Harnessing the Power of Resilience

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THE BALANCE BEAM
Ideas and Inspiration for Creating a Life that Works
Vol. 2 No. 6 March 17, 2000
Published by Success Builders, Inc.
http://www.SuccessBuildersInc.com
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"He who knows others is wise; he who knows himself is enlightened."
Lao-tzu
In this issue: HARNESSING THE POWER OF RESILIENCE
====================================================================== Dear Friends:
One of the balance tools that is most helpful during times of change is the skill of resilience. In this issue of The Balance Beam, we take a look at what I like to refer to as the "bounce back muscle". Flex it. Use it. And watch it lighten your load!

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Today's Topic: HARNESSING THE POWER OF RESILIENCE

There's an old saying that goes, "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade." Not just a trite bumper sticker, this adage speaks to the power of resilience, a key factor in the ability to grow and thrive through challenging times. Webster defines resilience as, "the ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change."

When we think of resilient people, there are obvious scenarios that come to mind. We picture survivors of concentration camps, natural disasters and family tragedies. We see the faces of Christopher Reeve, Michael J. Fox, and Lance Armstrong. These are big stories of resilience, the kind that drill down to your core to see what you're really made of when the going gets tough.

There are also quieter stories of resilience, small tales of hope and persistence that prevail in everyday lives all around us. Think of the people you know who seem to take things in stride and bounce back quickly. Are their lives free from problems? Of course not. In fact, many people for whom life seems to be a cakewalk are actually carrying around boatloads of responsibility for sick kids, aging relatives, financial burdens, and so on. What makes it seem easy for them is that they've mastered the art of resilience, which actually includes a cluster of specific behaviors, traits, and capabilities.

Author Daryl Conner coined a term called Type-O personalities, to refer to those who are oriented around opportunities vs. limitations. In his book, "Managing at the Speed of Change," Conner describes the five basic characteristics of resilience, which are associated with the Type O personality:

1. Resilient people display a sense of security and self-confidence that reflects their view of life as complex but filled with opportunity.
2. They have a clear vision of what is important to them and what they want to achieve.
3. They are able to remain flexible in the midst of uncertainty or new situations.
4. They develop structured approaches to dealing with ambiguity.
5. They embrace change, rather than defending against it.

In addition to Conner's five characteristics, there are some additional traits and tendencies that seem to accompany resilience. One of these is great relationship skills. People who bounce back typically enjoy intimate and fulfilling ties with others. They gain strength from their relationships and have an active network of friends, family and colleagues with whom they can talk things out and turn to for support. Paradoxically, these same people display an element of independence that allows them to distance themselves from "toxic" people and hold sources of problems in their lives at arm's length.

Resilient people have a good sense of humor. They take themselves lightly and are able to laugh at their own mistakes. There's a sound biological reason why this trait is valuable. Research has demonstrated that laughter stimulates an increase in the release of endorphins, which are the body's own natural painkillers. So laughing and having fun actually diminishes the experience of both physical and psychological pain. There is also evidence that increased endorphin activity is beneficial to the immune system. The message here is clear: lightening up not only helps with resilience, it just might help you live longer and healthier.

The good news about resilience is that it's never too late to develop your "bounce back" muscles. Here are some tips for enhancing your ability to weather the hard times and thrive:

- Analyze your belief patterns. Is your glass half empty or half full? Reprogram your thinking. Just before going to bed each night, do a quick review of the day. Ask yourself, "What are the opportunities in front of me?" and "What would my day look like tomorrow if I decided to go around the obstacles?"

- Catch yourself catastrophizing. You can develop radar for this behavior by being on the lookout for mental notes that begin with the question, "What if.......?" This is a fear-based orientation that focuses on all the things that could go wrong. Choose, instead, to concentrate on what will happen when things go right.

- Replace "victimitis" with problem solving. It's easy to feel stuck when you focus on a problem; instead, set your sights on potential solutions, and on owning the power to change.

- Keep the end in mind. The little things that happen to get in the way as your are pursuing a goal or working on a project are not designs for failure. They're just life. Learn to take things in stride and roll with the punches. You've heard this advice on the cover of books: Don't sweat the small stuff.

- Lighten Up. Take your work and your responsibilities seriously, but not yourself. Find the humor in foul-ups. Suspend your ego. Recognize that we're all human, and we all make mistakes. Laugh more, worry less, and enjoy the ride.

Change happens. Make it easier on yourself and those around you by beefing up your resilience index. It's good medicine.