This is From The Balance Beam

[TheBalanceBeam] - What do You Really Want to be Doing?

======================================================================
THE BALANCE BEAM
Ideas and Inspiration for Creating a Life that Works
Vol. 3 No. 16, August 25, 2001
Published by Success Builders, Inc.
http://www.SuccessBuildersInc.com
======================================================================
"He who knows others is wise; he who knows himself is enlightened."
Lao-tzu
In this issue: WHAT DO YOU REALLY WANT TO BE DOING?
====================================================================== Dear Friends:
If I gave you a magic wand and said you could create the job of your dreams, what would it look like? While many people love what they do professionally, there are still a lot of folks out there who are "putting up with" jobs that are stressful, monotonous or unfulfilling. This issue of The Balance Beam explores some of the personal factors that keep people from pursuing what they really want to be doing.

If you are interested in reading earlier editions of The Balance Beam, you can easily retrieve them by clicking on http://www.successbuildersinc.com/newsletter.html and going to the Archives section. If you are not yet a regular subscriber to The Balance Beam, you can also enter your subscription information at this location.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Today's Topic: WHAT DO YOU REALLY WANT TO BE DOING?

My client Sandra recently announced that she had met her objective of saving up a year's worth of living expenses and could now do what she has been wanting to do: quit her job and find a new one. When she shared the news with her mother, Mom was aghast. "What were you thinking?" she asked her adult daughter. "You've been with XYZ Company for 15 years...how could you consider throwing it all away? Besides, with the economy being the way it is, now is simply not the right time to be out looking for another job."

I was proud of Sandra for not panicking when her mother started questioning her decision. After all, this was not some spontaneous move that she was making on a whim. This was a well-planned and calculated strategy, designed to make the shift from a job that she has basically been tolerating for a long time, to a career that she really wants.

When I first met Sandra, I asked her why she had stayed for so long in a position that she so clearly didn't enjoy. "Beats me," she said. "One day just sort of led to the next, and before I knew it, I had put in fifteen years in a place where I really wasn't happy."

She has a lot of company out there. It's amazing how many people go trudging off to work every day to hang out in a role or an environment that is so unfulfilling. When I talk with people about why this is, I typically hear a litany of excuses that are "out there". It's the economy, there are no decent jobs in this town, the unemployment rate has crept back up, there's no market for someone with my skills....and on, and on, and on.

So if the tone of this column is beginning to sound uncomfortably familiar, here's my message to you: The real reason you're hanging out in a job you don't like isn't out there; it's sitting squarely in your own back yard.

People stay in work situations that don't serve them well for a variety of reasons. Many times these folks know that there's a gap between where they are and the career that they really want. But they get hung up by various factors that are primarily intrinsic vs. scenarios having to do with the economy or the job market. Consider the following list of internal variables:

- The Comfort Factor. You know what I mean. There's nothing particularly stimulating or rewarding or challenging or interesting about the job you're in. But it's a known quantity. It's like those old bedroom slippers you're embarrassed to be caught at the door in, but you're not ready to give them up.

- Fear of the Unknown. This one is related to the Comfort Factor. It's not that the situation you're in is all that great. But at least it's predictable. To move to a new land would require setting out into uncharted territory, and the very thought of doing that is just too terrifying.

- The Paycheck to Paycheck Syndrome. You know you're ready for a change. In fact, you're dying for a change. But you've been substituting playthings for satisfaction for a long time and your savings situation is a big goose egg. So the economic feasibility of making a transition seems remote at best.

- It's Just a Job. You pride yourself on living a balanced life and you work to live, not the other way around. So what if you have to do something that's not particularly energizing all day long? So what if it winds up consuming fifty percent of your waking hours?

- If I Only Knew What I Really Want. You're not sure what would make you happy, you just know this isn't it. But you're not sure how to get started, because you can't figure out what you would try to move toward.

- I'm Not Qualified. So think about it. What were you born qualified to do? Everything you've taken on since then has called upon the skills, abilities, and experiences you've developed along the way. If you don't consider yourself qualified for what you really want, would you be willing to become qualified?

- The Deservability Syndrome. You pride yourself on being selfless. After all, what really matters is that your family is happy and well cared for, not that you're enjoying your career and what you do every day.

- The Molasses Syndrome. Previously known as the "I've fallen, and I can't get up" pattern. This is probably a combination of all of the other scenarios and is primarily characterized by a feeling of being overwhelmingly stuck. It's like you're spinning your wheels, but incurring no movement, and feeling powerless to make a change.

Regardless of the specific situation that's in the way between you and the career that you really want, the starting point is the same. It involves shifting away from a focus on external conditions and asking yourself some hard questions that have to do just with you. It requires caring for and believing in yourself enough to make your own happiness and fulfillment a priority. What's really between you and the ideal job? Asking the tough questions will help you reveal your own power to change them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Words to live by:
There is no scarcity of opportunity to make a living
at what you love; there's only a scarcity of resolve
to make it happen.
- Wayne Dyer

It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.
- e.e. cummings