This is From The Balance Beam

[TheBalanceBeam] - Keeping the Conversation Real

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THE BALANCE BEAM
Ideas and Inspiration for Creating a Life that Works
Vol. 3 No. 17, September 27, 2001
Published by Success Builders, Inc.
http://www.SuccessBuildersInc.com
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"He who knows others is wise; he who knows himself is enlightened."
Lao-tzu
In this issue: KEEPING THE CONVERSATION REAL
====================================================================== Dear Friends:
To all you loyal subscribers of The Balance Beam, and to my new subscribers as well, this is an issue that is several weeks overdue. It's been difficult for me to write since the events of September 11th, and I've given myself the space to simply refrain from forcing words. Since my voice is now returning, I'm back. And paradoxically, it is with a focus on the importance of conversation during times like this. Thanks for bearing with me. Wish I could personally sit down across from you with a cup of coffee to share these thoughts, but for now a rendezvous in cyberspace will have to do.

If you are interested in reading earlier editions of The Balance Beam, you can easily retrieve them by clicking on http://www.successbuildersinc.com/newsletter.html and going to the Archives section. If you are not yet a regular subscriber to The Balance Beam, you can also enter your subscription information at this location.
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Today's Topic: KEEPING THE CONVERSATION REAL

Like most columnists out there, I've been barraged by thoughts and feelings over the past several weeks, as I've tried to make sense out of a world that seems to defy reason. Many of my colleagues have been prolific, pouring out their emotions in incredibly moving passages and comforting their readers with words of patience and peace.

As for me, I've been silent.

Now mind you, I've also been awake in the middle of the night more times than I care to mention, with tidal waves of anguish and concern washing over me so violently that I couldn't capture it all on paper even if I wanted to. The truth of the matter is, the words have been there, but they've been stuck in my throat.

I'm one of those people who believe that most things happen for a reason. I doubt that many of us knew when we woke up on the morning of September 11th that by nightfall we would have set aside virtually all the mundane details of our lives to focus helplessly on a tragedy of monumental proportions. Did we know that our conversations would shift from questions about deadlines, shopping lists and soccer game schedules to discussions of how precious life is and what really matters?

Even now, over two weeks later, I'm struck by the depth of human connection that we've witnessed in the face of the unspeakable. Not only in the outpouring of help from around the world and the old-fashioned patriotism right here in our own back yards, but also in the everyday conversations we're having. It's as if people are saying to each other, "Listen, this can't wait. There are truths I need to share and they're real and they're honest and they're more important than what's on the to-do list for today."

Intellectually, we know that one of the most important ways to help heal is to get back to living our regular, normal lives. But I'm also hoping that in the midst of doing that, we don't forget about the conversation that's been initiated. I hope that we can keep talking about life and death, and grief and hope, and pain and joy. I hope that we can acknowledge our fears and lend support to one another. I hope that we can keep the prism of "what really matters?" out in front of us as we make decisions about our kids and our careers and our businesses and our lives. I hope we keep the conversation real.

An associate of mine shared an interesting observation with me the other day. He stepped into an elevator in a tall office building and the several people already there did what people typically do in elevators: They avoided eye contact, looked at their shoes and waited for the number for their floors to light up. It occurred to my friend that if this elevator were in a building that had just been struck by terrorists, these same people who were avoiding eye contact would immediately become focused on saving each other's lives. His story reminded me that we never know what lies in the next moment, and there's nothing more important than the quality of our present experience.

What will you do today to further meaningful conversation in your life? What needs to be said to your boss, your co-workers, your spouse, your children and your friends? Seize the moment and make it real. It is what we are given.
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Words to live by:

"Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. And today? Today is a gift. That's why we call it the 'present'."
- Babatunde Olatunji

"Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree."
- Martin Luther

"Can we talk?"
- Joan Rivers