This is From The Balance Beam

[TheBalanceBeam] - Choosing What's Next

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THE BALANCE BEAM
Ideas and Inspiration for Creating a Life that Works
Vol. 3 No. 6, May 22, 2002
Published by Success Builders, Inc.
http://www.SuccessBuildersInc.com
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"He who knows others is wise; he who knows himself is enlightened."
Lao-tzu
In this issue: CHOOSING WHAT'S NEXT
====================================================================== Dear Friends:
As the mother of a college student, I'm especially cognizant of what young people in this age group are experiencing. And what I also know is that the dilemmas and emotions that they face are not all that different from what we "old folks" grapple with as we go about managing our careers and our lives. In this issue of The Balance Beam, we consider the power of choice in determining where we go from here.

If you are interested in reading earlier editions of The Balance Beam, you can easily retrieve them by clicking on http://www.successbuildersinc.com/newsletter.html and going to the Archives section. If you are not yet a regular subscriber to The Balance Beam, you can also enter your subscription information at this location.
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Today's Topic: CHOOSING WHAT'S NEXT

This is that time of year when the job market suddenly swells to absorb a new crop of college graduates. This year's new entries will have lots of company. There's incredible diversity among people who are in search of what's next. The economy has catapulted a lot of very talented people into the well, along with a number of folks who are burned out on the volatility of corporate life and have elected to look for greener pastures elsewhere. Add to this mix the 22-year old new graduates who are trying to figure out where to start and you have quite a melting pot of people struggling to get their arms around the very big question of what's next.

Earlier in my career, I spent several years working as the director of career services for a liberal arts college. Our marketing efforts were geared toward encouraging students to come into the career center and begin the exploration and planning process in their freshman and sophomore years. But inevitably, the big rush came about three weeks prior to, and immediately following graduation, as departing seniors graced our doorway for the first time and cried, "Help! What am I supposed to do now?"

I have this model that positions life as a test. In the early years, we're given the answers by our parents based upon their knowledge and experience of life and what they were taught. Then in elementary school, life becomes a true or false test, as we learn to separate right from wrong and fact from fiction. As we get into high school and college, life transitions into a multiple choice test. We have a limited number of possibilities from which to choose and we pick one. We choose which crowd to hang out with, which courses to take, which dorm to live in, what to major in. Then along comes graduation and the granddaddy of all tests comes along. Life becomes an essay test, with no form, structure, defined alternatives or directions for how to proceed. What stands before us is blue sky and a blank slate. And it's both exhilarating and terrifying.

So back to the graduating senior dilemma. One of the factors that I observed tugging on this group each year as May approached was a wicked case of wanderlust. After being cooped up in classrooms for much of their lives, these students were yearning to hit the road and see the world. There were always several who would come into my office and ask me if I thought it was a bad idea for them to take three months off after graduation and go backpacking through Europe rather than dutifully lining up in suits to talk to recruiters on campus.

My answer probably surprised a lot of them and I'm sure it appalled a few parents. What I advised them to do was weigh their options, develop a re-entry game plan, count their money, and then choose, the key piece being the element of choice. What was important to me was to guide them through the process of considering their needs, wants, values, tolerance for uncertainty and then challenge them to make a choice - a choice that was right for them, not for mom and dad, grandparents, or anybody else, for that matter. What I advised them NOT to do, was to simply wake up at noon the day after graduation, stuff their backpacks full and hit the road, without any kind of thought process or strategy surrounding their decision.

Choice is a powerful tool. We exercise it all day long without even thinking about it. Most of us have made dozens of choices before we even walk out of the house each morning. We choose when to get up, what to have for breakfast, what to wear, whether to run the dishwasher, what to take out of the freezer for dinner, and a host of other easy and rather mundane things. We obviously know how to define the question, identify our options, weigh the pros and cons and choose. Why, then, do we get so hung up on the big choices? Consider these reasons:
- Fear of making the "wrong" choice
- Lack of confidence in our assessment of the situation
- Deferral to or dependence on others for guidance
- Concern for what we "should" do superceding what we really want to do
- Reluctance to take ownership of our lives
- The call to action implicated in choosing; sometimes it's simply easier to hang out in a place of ambivalence

In the case of career decisions, it's important to remember that there is very rarely a "right" choice. For most of us, there are any number of things that we could do and do well, that would utilize our gifts and talents and provide adequate stimulation and challenge. Sometimes it's just a matter of jumping into the water vs. continuing to test it with your toes. Make a choice. Whatever your decision, the experience will teach you more about what you like and what you don't like, what you're good at and what's a stretch. And the next time you're confronted with a career decision, you'll have that much more information to factor into the equation.

Poet and human rights activist Carolyn Forche said, "We are responsible for the quality of our vision, we have a say in the shaping of our sensibility. In the many thousand daily choices we make, we create ourselves and the voice with which we speak and work." Choose. It's the greatest power you possess.

Coaching Tip: A personal coach can help you with the process of clarifying and making choices that are right for you. Did you know that coaching is as close as your telephone? Check it out at http://www.successbuildersinc.com/ServicesIndividuals.html.
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Words to live by:
"If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is compromise."
- Robert Fritz

" In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility."
- Eleanor Roosevelt

" To choose is also to begin."
- Starhawk