This is From The Balance Beam

[TheBalanceBeam] - It's What It Looks Like

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THE BALANCE BEAM
Ideas and Inspiration for Creating a Life that Works
Vol. 3 No. 7, June 15, 2002
Published by Success Builders, Inc.
http://www.SuccessBuildersInc.com
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"He who knows others is wise; he who knows himself is enlightened."
Lao-tzu
In this issue: IT'S WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE
====================================================================== Dear Friends:
You're probably familiar with the old saying, "appearances are everything". In this issue of The Balance Beam, I invite you to consider a bit of a different angle as to what that line is really about. For me, it's about shifting perspective...a lesson I'm continuously learning in my life. Perhaps there's some opportunity there for you as well.

If you are interested in reading earlier editions of The Balance Beam, you can easily retrieve them by clicking on http://www.successbuildersinc.com/newsletter.html and going to the Archives section. If you are not yet a regular subscriber to The Balance Beam, you can also enter your subscription information at this location.
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Today's Topic: IT'S WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE

I have a client whose grandmother used to regularly dispense pearls of wisdom to him when he was a child. We both got a chuckle out of one of her sayings that he recently shared with me. Miss Hattie, not one to mince words, would yank him up by the earlobe when he began displaying innocent but questionable behavior, and admonish him with, "Willie, it ain't what it is; it's what it looks like."

Think about that. It ain't what it is; it's what it looks like. There are probably multiple layers of meaning and intention built into that one little pithy insight. What resonated for me when I heard it was the notion that actual circumstances are probably far less important in dictating our experience of an event than the lens through which we perceive what has happened. What really matters is what it looks like. And that got me thinking about how we create our own realities - good, bad, or otherwise, as a function of how we interpret what happens to us.

Psychologists have known for decades that our beliefs and cognitions have a huge impact on our moods, emotions, behaviors and ultimately, on our success in achieving what we want in life. You're familiar with the visual distinction between an optimist and a pessimist as the difference between whether a person's glass is half empty or half full. Those who go about life with a half empty glass see the downside to everything. They expect the worst, and they generally get it, even from relatively innocuous situations. It ain't what it is; it's what it looks like. And since whatever it is, generally looks like bad news to a pessimist, bad news becomes their reality.

Contrast this with the person you know who has an incredibly upbeat and positive outlook on life. These are the folks for whom the saying, "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade" was born. It's not that optimists are the chosen ones, for whom nothing bad ever happens. It's just that these are people who are able to look at challenging situations - a job loss, a physical challenge, a financial setback, as an opportunity to create something new and better and stronger than they had before. It ain't what it is; it's what it looks like.

Consider how these differences in mindset show up in the workplace. You don't have to look too hard to find a boatload of companies that are experiencing economic downturns, market volatility, corporate takeovers, and the like. While there are obviously objective realities driving these scenarios, one very real factor that impacts upon which organizations manage to ride out the storm and which go under is the prevailing mindset of the culture, and particularly its leaders. For the optimistic, resilient ones, it's a time to marshal creative energy, get very, very focused, speak the language of possibilities and guide their teams into fresh approaches to a shifting business landscape. For the pessimistic ones, it's a time to batten down the hatches, squash honest communication, operate in a knee-jerk crisis mode, and ultimately, hope for a golden parachute. It ain't what it is; it's what it looks like.

So how do you, as an individual, gauge how you are perceiving and responding to what shows up in your world? What do you do if you notice yourself slipping into that glass half-empty orientation? Next time you encounter a difficult situation or find yourself worrying about all the things that did/might/could go wrong, ask yourself these questions:

1. How did you label the situation you are concerned about? In the split second between when an event occurs and you get that awful feeling in the pit of your stomach, several things happen. Your brain intervenes to perceive, interpret and then label the event in a certain way. If this label reads like a roadsign that says, "Disaster ahead", it sets off a chain reaction of psychophysiological changes that prepare you for the worst. What it looks like is not good, and what you feel is stress, anxiety and fear. Not a perfect setup for feeling empowered to take charge of a situation.

2. How could you shift your perspective and re-label the event in a way that would be more empowering? Suppose you substitute a mental roadsign that says "Sharp curves up ahead" and you decide to tighten up your seat belt for an exciting ride, anxious to see where the road will take you and what possibilities and new highways lie ahead? Although the objective reality may be exactly the same as in the previous scenario, what it looks like to you is an adventure, an opportunity to do some off-road riding over wild terrain. And consequently, what you feel is excitement, stimulation, and anticipation. Bring it on, world.

Our experience of the world and our personal and career lives is centered squarely in how we see, interpret, label and respond to the external circumstances we deal with every day. We have the power to choose our lens and shift our perspectives, and in so doing, create our own realities. Choose in a way that serves you well. Remember, as Ms. Hattie said, "It ain't what it is; it's what it looks like."
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Words to live by:
"The real voyage of discovery consists of not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes."
- Marcel Proust

"Ears hear and eyes see.
What then does mind do?"
- A Zen Question

"No object is mysterious. The mystery is your eye."
- Elizabeth Bowen

"The soul never thinks without a mental picture."
- Aristotle

"Your mind is your best camera . . .
Go out and take some beautiful pictures."
- Daryl Ryman