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Reinventing Retirement Newsletter
The dictionary defines "retirement" as "withdrawal". Not for us, folks! Help us replace the "retirement" word with one that speaks to our generation, and win yourself a 2young2retire T-shirt. This contest was inspired by item #1 in the "Top 10 Ways to Reinvent Retirement" (http://www.2young2retire.com/tenways.html) -- the most requested page on www.2young2retire.com Contest Rules: HOW DO YOU STAY TOO YOUNG TO RETIRE? 1. Accept the fact that stress is unavoidable and even necessary in life, and focus on developing your own personal strategies for dealing with it. Notice what triggers stressful feelings; where in your body you experience stress, e.g. lower back, shoulders, digestion, etc.; what you do that helps or makes it worse. As they say on one of my favorite yoga tapes, everybody's different, so it pays to get to know your own stress profile and what gives you relief. Here are a few antidotes that work for us: Laughter. Norman Cousins had it right: laughter really is good medicine. Give yourself permission to lighten up, be silly and childlike. We keep a few of our favorite comedies around for this purpose, e.g. The Producers, The Court Jester, I Love You to Death. Take a look at the True Story of Phyllis Popkin, The Laughter Lady, for more on the benefits of humor. www.2young2retire.com/popkin.htm We think Phyllis has a great thing going in the Charlottesville, Virginia area. Clean up your "Tolerations" (to borrow a CoachU concept). What are you tolerating in your life? It could be as small as a drawer full of expired grocery coupons or odd socks, to bigger stuff like the neighbor's noisy parties/construction/dog, an outrageous commute, office politics...well, you get the idea. Pick an easy toleration to tackle first and see what taking care of it does for your energy and spirits. Treat yourself to something you enjoy in anticipation of a stressful event. Try not to make this an excuse to shop, which is akin to a sugar high and as short-lived. Our favorites: a yoga class with a master; a full body massage; reading something completely frivolous; calling a friend who we know will lift our spirits; dancing to Chicago Blues; looking at our grand babies albums, and, whenever possible, spending some time with the real thing. 2. Eat Healthy. This is both the What and the How, as we discovered recently at a Conscious Eating workshop. We've experimented with a vegetarian diet, with eliminating certain things like dairy products for a period, and with food combining in its various forms. For us, what works consistently is the use of the freshest ingredients we can find and afford (farmer's markets make this easier at this time of year), and making food preparation as much fun as eating itself. Of course, food is much more than mere nourishment in our culture and we all have our good (and bad) associations with it. Our workshop at the Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health asked us to bring to consciousness our own food memories and stories. Getting them down on a piece of paper was a liberating exercise. Another was to eat slowly, chew consciously and focus on what we were eating. I didn't think I could chew a teaspoon of sunflower seeds 22 times. Never realized they had so much texture and flavor. Unsalted, yet. 3. Who enjoys getting poked, prodded and pummeled or surrendering those specimens to the laboratory? But you take care of it, for yourself and for those who love you. Like the ad says, Just Do It. 4. Move your body regularly doing something that is fun and enjoyable. We are both avid believers in the benefits of regular exercise. Given our ages (65 and 58), we naturally gravitate to the forms that stretch and strengthen without undue strain on the skeleton or joints; improve circulation and stimulate the functioning of the endocrine system; encourage mental focus; and promote the relaxation response (see the books of Dr. Herbert Benson who coined this term for a really compelling case for this). Yoga does all the above, and you don't have to subscribe to the philosophy to get many of the physical/psychological benefits. In fact, for most Westerner practitioners, digging deeper into the ancient concepts usually comes after the physical postures -- hatha yoga -- have been mastered sufficiently to make a regular practice possible. Getting there can be fun, if you can accept at the outset that yoga is not a contest; that there's nothing to prove or achieve. Pretty different from most of the rest of life. Start by seeking out a yoga class that is convenient to your work or home. Tapes are great, in fact, we use them ourselves. But they are no substitute for a class experience with the hands on guidance of an instructor. Ask a lot of questions of the staff. Ask about beginning level classes, where teachers were certified, how they would handle any special physical limitations or needs. Take a look at the studio itself. It should be spotless, spacious, with good heating/cooling/ ventilation. Check out the condition of the props like mats and blankets. Yoga gets you very up close and personal with your environment, so make sure you are satisfied with these details. Most studios will let you take an introductory class for minimal cost. In some places, this is reimbursed if you sign up for a series. Once you have found a yoga studio you like, make the investment in a 6- or 8-week course. It's the best way to find out if it's right for you. There are many schools of yoga out there, from the athletic Astanga and Power Yoga styles to more therapeutic styles like Kripalu (Marika's training). Let your own health/fitness level be your guide. With yoga, you learn a different way to stretch and move your body while synchronizing movement with your breath. You learn to focus mentally on what is happening, moment to moment. All good teachers will remind you constantly to take it easy and listen to and respect your body. This is the best way to avoid injury. Crunched for time? Here's a yoga routine you can easily do in your chair at the office or even on an airplane. It was developed by our friend and 50+ yoga inspiration, Lakshmi Voelker. A teacher of Kripalu yoga for 30 years, Lakshmi is a regular presenter at Kripalu where she originated a Yoga and Golf weekend, and has her own flourishing practice in Palm Springs, California. Her audio tape and workbook, The Sitting Mountain Series*, can be ordered by email: lakyoga@aol.com In addition to yoga, we also walk about 3 miles daily and/or swim laps at our health club. Both are ideal for 2young2retire people: thorough, gentle, relaxing. Of course, you can take either up several notches. See our True Story on Diane Wender, the race walking marathoner at www.2young2retire.com/Diane.html It bears repeating: CHECK WITH YOUR DOCTOR BEFORE YOU BEGIN YOGA OR ANY OTHER EXERCISE, especially if you are new to it or returning to exercise after a period of time. We welcome 600+ new subscribers to Reinventing Retirement News and thank you for your good wishes, support and your stories. Here are a few contributed stories we posted recently: Homemaker to Film Critic, www.2young2retire.com/joanellis2.htm; Author Founds Website on Living Abroad, www.2young2retire.com/ruthhalcomb.htm and Broadcaster/Ad Exec to Speaker/Developer, www.2young2retire.com/berth.htm BOOKSITE The Seven Stages of Money Maturity (Dell Trade Paperback, 1999) by George Kinder, a certified financial planner, is a book whose time has come. Wise, kind, thorough, this is a money book with a heart. Seven Stages is based on workshops in Money Maturity that George Kinder developed and leads across the country (see Reinventing Retirement #6). It captures the author's unique blend of financial expertise and his passion for Buddhism (he is a well-known teacher who leads silent retreats) and poetry. Practical advice on budgeting, investing and building wealth are married here to quotes and ideas from Buddhist texts, Blake, Lao-tzu and others. With a gentle, assured hand, Kinder leads the reader through the seven stages -- innocence, pain, knowledge, understanding, vigor, vision and aloha -- using personal stories, his own and those of his clients (offered as composites), to show how the stages are all present in our attitudes towards money. The exercises in each section are aimed a developing an understanding of how inherited beliefs and ideas become the assumptions we make about money, and influence financial choices and decisions. Misguided belief systems, Kinder says, are the basis for dysfunctional behavior around money that can derail even the wealthiest among us. Use the book to "dig deeper" to get to your "heart's core." There are a wealth of exercises to help you do this, like (my personal favorite), the Time Flies chart, a matrix that links goals to time and helps you create priorities among your goals. Anyone can profit from this, of course, but it is particularly relevant for us 50+ folks. You'll want to use this and other exercises from Seven Stages more than once. Getting clear about what you really want can help you reconfigure your finances and make sounder decisions not only about money, but about the direction of your life. Money maturity is about freedom, about grownup liberation. A delightful message from "the oldest person still active on the Internet. One of the Internet pioneers of the previous century, I lived alone and forgotten in a franchised housing development for the elderly - I call it *Living Dead R' Us* until a chance meeting brought me to the attention of some slightly younger (but not by much) folks with too much time on their hands. They immediately made arrangements for me to advise the wired world on technology, proper deportment while on-line and the fascinating history of the early Internet. Please feel free to stop by my web site at http://dearauntnettie.home.att.net and by all means, click on links, to see the link I have placed there to your site." We would give a lot to see Clint Eastwood (and we did, $20 -- with popcorn -- and 2 hours of our Saturday), but Space Cowboys isn't on our Top Ten list. Sure it's great to see a story that shows that old guys still have the Right Stuff and that wrinkles can be sexy, but we knew that. What was fun, though, in a summer of kiddieflicks, was the box office returns for the first weekend. It made our day. It's WOW! for short and that's just what we said when we found Work of Women thanks to USA Today's Hot Sites alert (of course, we nominated ours). It's one of those beautiful and worthwhile sites you stumble occasionally and bookmark. Here is the URL: www.workofwomen.org/ POTPOURRI Our emails have been full of wonderful messages lately. Here are a few samples. Dear Marika and Howard, From Maine, a visitor wrote: I LOVE your website and have posted your "Top Ten Ways to Reinvent Retirement" on today's News Du Jour on our site at www.cyberseniors.org From SS, New York: I just read about you in Money magazine and had to click on your website immediately. I'm 55 and my last position was eliminated due to restructuring. I'm having trouble finding new work and am hoping I'll find some good advice on this site (haven't gone to any links yet). I really don't think that there is sufficient emotional and professional/business support in the world for us youthful boomer-types. Can't wait to review your site. From TBF, Washington: Your site is a winner. And it hits right to the bone how I feel about being almost 59 and trying to find a new path after 20 years practicing law and moving to the Olympic Peninsula in Washington from Maryland. What a jump. Much too young to retire, but do I want to retake the bar exam? Or follow some old dreams all of which crowd my mind. Or continue learning about the stock market and focus on what to do with the nice little nest egg we've accumulated just in the last three years or so. Questions, questions. You'll help me figure it out, I have no doubt. Thanks. From SK, Michigan: I'm planning on retiring next summer at the age of 55. You're Website is already helping me to think about my future. I'm starting to make a list of things I can do when I retire. After working full time (and never having children) for the past 30 years, I'll need ongoing "structure" in my day after I retire. I'm going to have a calendar on the kitchen counter and plan on building in some regular daily activities. Biggest fears would be boredom and lack of self-initiative (it's different when you no longer HAVE to go to work for a paycheck). I may choose (especially in the Michigan winter months) to volunteer work part-time, but I'll be careful not to commit myself for more than 20 hrs. a week. The transition for me will be from spending my time working on "self-image" to working on "self" and becoming, to a greater extent, the person God had in mind when he created me. A 23-year-old from England wrote: My father rediscovered in the family attic what is believed to be the largest collection in the world of illustrated letters and cards. They were written by Sir Henry, my great great grandfather, early last century in what has been described as a unique and enchanting example of one grandfather's way of keeping in touch with his distant grandchildren, and building relationships by keeping in touch. In case this might be of interest and perhaps an inspiration to grandparents we (his great great grandchildren) have put the correspondence on a site: http://www.ultimategrandparent.com From ATR, Florida It is with great pleasure that I comment on your site. Never in my lifetime has a poem touched me like your poem has Mr. Stone. Your website, in my opinion, couldn't have a more nobler cause: "The Emancipation of the Retiree!" Thank you folks from every person that gets something out of your site thats to busy like I thought was to just say "Thanks"... Let's celebrate Stanley Kunitz, 95, our new poet laureate; farmer's markets; the right to vote for president.
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